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How hilarious is this? I think it'd be so great to walk down the street talking on a traditional phone receiver. Unfortunately I don't have $30 to throw away. Not on that anyway. I glued fake nails onto my cats' real nails Monday night. Surprisingly they're all still on. The product is called Soft Paws; they're to prevent my cats from causing any further damage to my furniture. Of course the damage has already been done, but I plan to buy a new couch when I move, so I wanted to get them adjusted to their new blunt claws. Look how cute they look! Enough crazy cat lady talk. I'm seeing Ted Leo Saturday night and Goldfrapp on Monday night. I am so excited for the latter. Also, I saw Harry Potter for the second time on Sunday with JR and Brook. They loved it as well. Go see it if you haven't already! Rory wants to create a spin-off of Harry Potter, but call it Mary Potter. It's going to be about a young gay boy who is forced to live with a straight family in a straight town his whole life. Then one day he goes to a great big castle filled with other gay children (art school), and gets to do all sorts of magic (like interior decorating...blindfolded!). I think it could be the next big thing. 11*29*05 I had two donors today which ended up making me stay two hours after my shift ended. In the event that a technician has to work 1+ hour(s) overtime, we can take a car service home; so I did. I exchanged pleasantries with my driver on the way to Brooklyn. He told me about his job, where he lives, and that he's been married for 35 years. I told him where I wanted to move, where I'm from, and how I'm happy being single. When I mentioned that last part, he started to tell me how I have plenty of time to find someone, and there are plenty of fish in the sea, etc. I listened to all the cliches he had to offer, and smiled and nodded. He said I should find myself a nice Brooklyn boy. I told him I've had my share of Brooklyn boys and they're not that nice...and they're cheaters. He laughed and said that all men are cheaters. He told me he's been cheating on his wife ever since he's known her. I was absolutely appalled. He had just painted this cozy picture for me of him and his wife: they'd known each other since they were 17, and got married when they were 20, and moved from Argentine to NYC together, and had two children in the same house they still live in now. And he's been cheating on her that whole time!? Poor woman. He laughed and told me "good luck finding a guy who doesn't cheat!" as he pulled up to my building. I walked into my apartment feeling defeated. Is he right? Do all men cheat? Should I just accept this fact and hope I find a guy who's really good at keeping it a secret from me forever, instead of one who's simply faithful? But I can't accept that, and decided I needed to speak to a woman who's had a lot of experience with dating. So I called my mom. She told me she thinks probably 60% of men cheat. That's around how much I figured. I can deal with a 40% chance of meeting someone who'll be faithful to me, but a 0% chance just makes the whole thing seem pointless. Not that I'm looking for my life partner at the moment, but absurd comments that make what little faith I have in the opposite sex waver tend to make me ask questions. 11*27*05 So Friday night went pretty well. People actually danced this time around, and I even had a few people come up to me and tell me I was a good DJ. It was a nice little ego-booster. Thanksgiving also went well. It was just my mom, her boyfriend and me, but it was very cozy and relaxing. My mom spoiled me and I loved every minute of it. Sometimes I enjoy being babied; being adult-like can get tiresome. I didn't do too much yesterday. I slept for half the day, and then saw A History Of Violence last night. I used to be obsessed with David Cronenburg movies. He's definitely toned down the absurdity and the gross-factor in his last few films, but he still managed to sneak a few graphic things into the movie I saw last night. I give it three stars (out of five). I took some pictures Friday night, but forgot to ask someone to take one of me DJing. Maybe next time. I have to spend the next hour convincing myself to go running in the park. I hate running in the cold. In the meantime, here ya go:
11*25*05 As I mentioned before, I will be co-DJing tonight at Black & White. If you're around the area (86 East 10th Street near 4th Avenue), you should stop by. I can't say exactly when I'll be DJing, but I should be there from 11 PM until they kick me out. So don't be a stranger! Unless, of course, you are a stranger. 11*22*05 I told my mom the other day that I used to make my Barbie dolls have sex. I think she was a little taken aback. She's in the process of cleaning out our attic since she's moving soon, and came across my old Barbie dolls. I put them up there when I was 12 thinking that one day my desire to play with them would be rejuvenated. That didn't happen, so I told her she could give them away. I've been talking with people over the past few years about how we used to play with our Barbie dolls. I found someone at the crime lab who also used to use the clothes for the Jem doll to dress Ken in drag. The Jem doll was so much bigger than Barbie and so manly-looking, so I never wanted to play with her. But her freakishly large attributes made her clothes and heels perfect for Ken. I also used to use the red lipstick my mom got sick of and passed down to me to put fake blood all over my Barbies. My dolls would get into freakish accidents on a daily basis. I had a handkerchief I used to tear strips off of to make mini-bandages for my dolls. And now I cut out eyes for a living. Melissa told me she used to play with GI Joes when she was little, and now she's a lesbian. My mom once caught my brother playing with dolls in preschool and asked his teacher if she should be concerned; the teacher said it meant nothing. My brother is gay now as well. All of this leads me to one conclusion: how you play with your toys when you're little determines who you'll be when you're grown up. Clearly it must be true. 11*20*05 I think I'm going to sell my digital piano. I'm just sad to see it go because it was a high school graduation present and cost over $1000. I can probably get a maximum of $400 for it now. That's just depressing. It's in mint condition! But I need the money to move and pay back student loans. Besides, I probably won't have the room to set it up wherever I end up moving, and I hardly use it now as it is. But still.... I saw Harry Potter tonight. I really liked it...and if that makes me a geek, then so be it. Embarrassing as it is, I almost cried at the end. I was also amazed that not one cell phone rang throughout the whole movie until the last 20 minutes or so. I think it had something to do with the five ads they had begging people to turn their phones off before the movie started. And after all that, someone still left it on. Unbelievable. 11*19*05 The town of Clark, Texas, agreed to change its name to "DISH" on Tuesday, after the town council worked out a corporate deal that will give every resident free satellite TV. I can't decide if I'm more disgusted with the lengths corporations go to for advertising gimmicks, or if I'm just jealous. Can't we rename Brooklyn Century 21 (the borough with reasonable rent and honest brokers), or maybe Sallie Mae-ville (the Borough that doesn't have to pay back student loans)? It'd have my vote. 11*19*05 This morning my mom sent me one of those dumb e-mails with cheesy anecdotes that I've repeatedly begged her not to send me. You know the kind I'm talking about. Anyway, this one actually had something in it that made me giggle, so why not share it: Some people are like a Slinky--not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see them tumble down the stairs. It's funny because it's true. A co-worker, who was previously driving me insane but has since moved to another shift, invited me to her daughter's 1st birthday party next week. I appreciated the sentiment, and told her I'd do my best to attend since I couldn't quite find it in me to say no. But I don't see that happening. Back when we worked together, we argued all the time and she drove me crazy. Now since I rarely see her, I've been very nice to her. I guess this was her way of establishing further peace between us? Either that or she was going to have her family ambush me when I came to the party. Guess I'll never know. 11*17*05 I saw David Wain in Penn Station yesterday. I wasn't taking the train anywhere, I was just passing through. I almost wanted to say "Hi David!" But then I thought that might be kind of creepy of me to do. I wanted to DJ tomorrow night, but am going to DJ the night after Thanksgiving instead. I didn't want to stay in NJ for more than a day anyway. But I'll still be at Black & White tomorrow, dancing while no one else is. Hopefully this weekend I'll see Walk The Line and/or Harry Potter. I'm more interested to see the latter, but I wouldn't be too disappointed if I didn't see it on opening weekend. Going to the movies in NYC can be a very irritating experience sometimes, especially opening weekend. I think I might have a date sometime soon. I've been enjoying my date-free life this past month or so. I've been having more fun than I ever did while dating what's-his-face. I'm actually hesitant to jeopardize my positive state of mind by dating someone new. But I've decided to be ridiculously picky from now on. I'm no longer dating people who are always broke, constantly talk about their ex, cheat on me, lie to me, are self-absorbed, and don't show enough interest in me. Perhaps that's not even being picky and just setting reasonable standards that I should have had all along. I just never cease to surprise myself at how compromising I can be after I've been dating someone for a little while. So, in theory, if I'm picky from the get-go, I can make rational judgments about the person before I'm already sucked in weeks down the road and willing to overlook things I never would have in the beginning. It all sounds so easy! I just wish it was. 11*15*05 I was listening to Goldfrapp and feeling particularly sassy the other day, so I put on a hat and took a picture:
11*15*05 I got so lost on my way to procure corneas yesterday. I couldn't find my way for an hour and a half. i tried to keep calm and figure it out myself, but eventually I ended up pulling over, calling work, and bursting into tears when my co-worker picked up. I can't handle being lost; I think it has something to do with hating when I feel like I can't deal with a situation on my own. I suppose the therapist I never bothered to get could analyze that one day for me. I'm starting to feel panicked because I know I should have figured out a payment plan for my student loans by now, and haven't. I'll most likely end up deferring for another six months, but nonetheless, I should have at least done that already. I think I'm $50,000 in debt at this point. I suppose this makes me all the more infuriated that the government was trying to mess with student loans, among other things like Medicaid and food stamps, to get more money to waste on wars and whatnot. I mean, God forbid they take back those tax breaks they gave the wealthy. No, I agree, it makes much more sense to make it more difficult for kids to get an education, and the poor to get food and medicine. They don't REALLY need those frivolous things. I also love that the president's approval ratings are so low. NOW people are realizing he's a bad president!? What the hell were you people doing back in November when an opinion like that would have made all the difference? Even notable politicians are speaking out against him now. It seems hating the president is now the acceptable thing. I even saw Hallmark cards making fun of his stupidity the other week. He wasn't that great last year either, but now we're stuck with him for another three years! Idiots. 11*13*05 I don't know what it is about eye donation, but for the longest time at work we had maybe one donor in three weeks. Then Friday morning I had one, and the next shift had two, then I had three for my 12-hour on-call shift, and the next shift already had two by the time I got back. Craziness. First I had to drive to Westchester, then the Bronx, and lastly to Rockland County. I talked with a security guard in the autopsy room in Westchester as I prepped the donor. He told me how he had just broken up with someone he was dating online who lived in San Diego. He kept telling me what a great vocabulary he had, and how he had called his ex repugnant and couldn't understand why she got offended. Guys are idiots. At the next hospital in the Bronx I did the procedure by myself. I was alone in the autopsy room with a corpse when all of a sudden I heard a woman's soft voice from above say "Excuse me." It scared the shit out of me. Turns out the hospital has a staff member read a prayer over the speaker system around 6 every morning. I didn't know how to get to the last hospital, so I followed a nurse from the hospital in the Bronx who happened to live in Rockland County, and was just about to drive home anyway. The medical examiner at the Rockland County hospital stayed with me while I performed the excision. She looked really young and had a gold tooth. We talked for a while. She happened to be a Forensic Science major as well, and she lived in Flatbush (where I live now) for most of her life. I didn't get back to the lab until around 12:30 in the afternoon on Saturday, and didn't end up getting home until 2 PM. Needless to say, I was just a bit tired. But I still managed to drag myself to Williamsburg to get a haircut last night. I slept for 10 hours when i got back. It was lovely. Anyway, I will definitely have enough money to move by the end of the month now. In the meantime, I suppose I'll take it easy today; I earned it! 11*11*05 I'm on-call for work starting at midnight, but they already called me and said I have three donors. I'm waiting for a car service to come pick me up to take me to work as I type this. This is the first time I've had so many donors for an on-call shift EVER. I had one this morning, too. So how much money will I have made from all this when I am done you ask? $750. I know it must sound insensitive of me to be excited over money when four people had to die for me to get it, but then again, this is my job. And I need the money! 11*08*05 I just read on the Strangers With Candy website that the Strangers With Candy movie that I was joyously looking forward to seeing at the end of this year won't come out until the spring of 2006! What the hell!? Corporate bastards at Time Warner! Today at work I got a paper cut on an envelope, smacked my head on the corner of a wall sconce, and banged my knee on my desk drawer. It was an off day in the respect, but I did run 4 miles at the gym tonight, which is more than I usually run. As I walked down Wall Street after work, I passed a film crew recording some actress I didn't recognize, and then I passed a Mud coffee truck blasting The Ramones while businessmen walking alongside me sang along. I suddenly felt an overwhelming appreciation and pride for my city. Where else can you see all that within a 3-block radius? 11*06*05 Overheard at the marathon: Man: Go Red Cross! 11*06*05 I never ended up going to The Royale Friday night. Instead I went to the same place I've been every Friday night for the past month: Black & White. JR invited me to DJ again some other weekend; I'm aiming for two weekends from now. Saturday I went out drinking with Brook in the East Village. I figured if I got an early start around 5, I could end the night earlier and be up in time today to watch the marathon. That plan seemed to work. I met up with Kristy from the police lab around 11:30 this morning and cheered for our friend Deirdre at mile 24 in Central Park. I screamed my lungs out for over two hours. Any time someone ran by wearing their name, we'd all scream it along with some words of encouragement. We got a lot of smiles and thumbs ups. It feels good to know that I made at least 30 marathon runners happy at their 24th mile. Now I am all the more inspired to run next year. I really need to get a move on the training, though. I watched Say Anything Friday night before I went out. I guess seeing that Lloyd Dobler costume last weekend gave me the urge. I forgot how good that movie is. I remember growing up and thinking that one day I'd find my Lloyd Dobler. Now I'm convinced men like that only exist in the movies. Speaking of love stories, I finished Anna Kerenina last Wednesday. Only took me four weeks. I think I'm gonna shoot for some lighter reading next time; maybe a how-to on marathon training. Here are some pictures Brook and I took in a few bars around Manhattan last night:
11*03*05 There are so many concerts coming up that I want to go to. Next Thursday I'm seeing Broadcast, then in December I want to see Goldfrapp (2nd time), Ted Leo and The Pharmacists (3rd time), and Reverend Horton Heat (6th time). I love Ted Leo; Amanda and I are devising a plot to make him our lover. I get to leave work early tomorrow because I stayed late one night last month. I hope to utilize my extra time off wisely, but probably won't. Tomorrow night I'm going to a Manchester night with Amanda at The Royale in Park Slope. Hopefully I'll get to DJ at Black & White again sometime soon. JR told me last week he'd put me into regular rotation, but many things are said and forgotten during drunken moments, so who knows? I had a donor at a funeral home today. They tried to recruit me to become a mortician. They said all I'd have to do is go to mortuary school for a year and there was always room for one more at their funeral home. I doubt that'll happen, though. Then again, I never thought I'd be cutting eyes out for a living either. I'm always surprised at the nurses and doctors who are surprised that I'm able to cut out eyes. To me, dealing with the living while they're sick (or healthy) is more trying than what I have to do. I was once at a hospital after midnight filled with terminally ill cancer patients. I could hear them screaming in their sleep. It didn't phase the nurses at all; it creeped me out plenty. I'd take the morgue over that any day. 11*01*05 Someone found my website by searching for think paste vaginal fluid. I think that's probably the weirdest word combination anyone has ever searched for to find my site. It perplexes me for numerous reasons.
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